Adopt, people! Adopt!!

I was lucky to find Lola at the city animal shelter. Even luckier to find her on the first day that she was brought in and I put my name down right away. Her owners never claimed her, so after 3 days at the shelter, she was mine. But you know what happens to the animals not adopted or claimed by their owners after three days at the shelter… picture me pretending to slit my throat with my finger.

On Monday, I discovered that the City of Wichita actually posts a list of all pets they’ve picked up on the previous day. So I’ve bookmarked this page and I check it every day. Yesterday, they picked up EIGHTEEN dogs and EIGHT cats. And how many of them do you think will live past the three days?

So this is just a shameless plea to check out the animal shelter in your city. If you’re thinking of getting a pet, look there first.

And this concludes today’s ACGIK public service announcement.

Dating. Argh.

I’m not very good at dating. Not good at all. Relationships I can do. Dating… impossible.

There are just so many… rules. None of which make a lot of sense to me and basically I just get confused and start to panic.

Do you call? Do you not call? How long are you supposed to wait before you can call? How forward is too forward and how aloof is too aloof? I think I end up confusing guys by being super aloof with some awkward forwardness thrown in for good measure. This does not make for an easy start to anything.

And then there’s the overanalyzing. And who doesn’t overanalyze at the early stage of something romantic-like? The mental playback of the last time you hung out together, analyzing frame by frame, word by word. “Did he really mean (fill in the blank)?”

And if we go several days without talking, I write it off. Decide that I must have scared him away with the Pug talk or the reality tv watching or the affinity for shopping at Target for hours at a time.

But if he calls, my faith in the situation is instantly restored and I’m glowing and excited and giggly.

The worst part of it all is that the more you date, the more cautious you become. And neurotic. And it becomes much easier to write someone off quickly because let’s face it, you’re not doing this for grins anymore. You’re not up for a temporary fling. It’s not high school where you just want to hang out with a cute boy and hold hands on the way to honors english. You’re looking for The Guy. The grand finale. The one that you will hopefully wake up next to thirty years down the road.

I suppose the only way to get through dating is to have faith. Have faith that The Guy (or Girl) is out there somewhere. And with each failed relationship, you’re one step closer to finally meeting them and putting all of this nonsense behind you. Must be patient. Must have faith. Must try to not overanalyze too much.

Most importantly, remember that you make friggin’ good company. And hanging out with yourself is certainly not a bad deal. So make yourself a nice dinner and pop open a good bottle of wine and watch a silly movie and just be happy that you are who you are. And when He joins you someday, you’ll be ready.

King of Prussia?

I found out yesterday that I’m heading to the Philly area next month. More specifically, I’ll be hanging out in King of Prussia, which is just the craziest name for a city.

But I am really excited about this trip. Why, you ask? Because King of Prussia is home to the nation’s second largest shopping mall (ironically, the trip was initially going to be to Minneapolis – Mall of America, anyone?).

I’ve already made a list of the stores that I must visit, since Wichita is seriously lacking in the retail department:

Nordstrom
H&M
Coach
Urban Outfitters
J. Crew
Lacoste
Crate and Barrel
Apple Store
Sephora (must get eye pencil for Jill. I had a freakin’ dream about this eye pencil)
L’Occitane

This mall is so giant that there are TWO Starbucks.

I will be in training all day long, but oh how glorious the evenings will be! I never check my luggage anymore, but I am bringing a second suitcase for this trip. I can’t wait!

Other good things about my visit to King of Prussia – my high school BFF, Kerry, is only an hour away in New Jersey and we’re hoping to get together. Also, my favorite co-worker, Linda B., is going too. And she is ridiculously fun, so I know it will be amazing

Good Things

Today’s list of good things is brought to you by the letter C. For Cheetos.

1. Cheetos
2. Banana milkshakes
3. Cashmere sweaters from Gap for $8.97 each!
4. The way Lola sits like she’s a person
5. Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell (read it this past week – it’s GOOD)
6. Bunco
7. MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!! Holla!
8. Google chat
9. This really cute house that I want to buy
10. Argyle socks
11. DirecTV
12. Friends that you can cook for and enjoy a bottle of wine with – no drama, no pettiness, just good conversation and good company
13. My mom. She rocks.
14. Gold stars. My boss actually gives them to me because I told him they would be motivating.
15. Naps
16. Knitting
17. Late spring evenings with a perfect breeze (ok, so full on wind if you’re not from Kansas) and not too many nasty bugs
18. Caprese salad
19. Bamboo Pink lipstick from Clinique – the first lipstick that actually looks good on my giant lips
20. My three sisters. I could not ask for better siblings.

Poo

Jill is the only friend I have who isn’t completely horrified when Lola the Pug runs into the living room with a cat turd in her mouth.

This is why I love her dearly.

Big Ideas

I always have these big ideas that fizzle into nothingness, which I guess makes me really lame.

Like for awhile, I researched becoming a foster parent because, hey, I have a second bathroom and bedroom and I’m good with kids and I want to make a difference and help people and… I could go on.

Then I was going to adopt a child from Africa. And I am always thinking of new charities to start. And I donate my plasma now for the Red Cross (for free! Remember when I did it for cash when I was unemployed?) because I am apparently a universal donor and they really need help.

And then I think I should write a book. Or at least pitch some freelance ideas to the local paper. Or blog more. Make more money doing it.

And I want to travel more. And maybe adopt more Pugs. And maybe actually meet The Guy somewhere in there.

And somehow with all of these great ideas about how I’m going to save the world and do things that I love, I end up sitting in my office in my underwear blogging about it instead of doing it.

So I was thinking that I would seriously start on one of them – the book idea. And I was thinking I’d publish the first chapter on here. Sort of a sneak preview to see if you all actually like it and if I have potential. Whaddaya think?

Also, I think I forgot to put deoderant on today. Yum.

The Office is the Best Show Ever

Retail Therapy

I went to the MALL today. Yup, the mall. I felt like I was in high school all over again… I try to avoid the mall in Wichita at all costs because it’s just not that great and it’s small and kinda crowded. There’s a much nicer outdoor shopping center called Bradley Fair that has all of the important stuff – Gap, Banana Republic, Bath & Body Works, an Aveda salon… Plus, there’s a mediterranean restaurant there that serves the best hummus ever. Anyway, so I went to the mall. And I went a little crazy. I went to the Clinique counter (Bonus Time, y’all!) and Old Navy and Gap (2 cashmere sweaters for $20 – amazing, I know) and Bath & Body Works (new cocunut lotion out that smells delish). And this is after I dropped $20 last night on “bargain” books at Barnes & Noble and bought 5 DVDs at Blockbuster (5 for $25!).

I just couldn’t stop myself… It was fantastic. I followed it up with a three hour nap. This is the Best. Day. Ever.

Everybody’s Working for the Weekend

I’m back in Wichita. Atlanta was GREAT. I only wish I’d had more time to sightsee (unless it was within walking distance of our hotel and served food, we didn’t see it). There just really wasn’t any time to do much of anything other than work. Which, I suppose, was the point. I should have (in hindsight) given Rachael a call so we could, at the very least, meet for Starbucks.

One of the highlights was dinner at Pittypat’s Porch, possibly the craziest restaurant that I have ever had the pleasure to dine in. A group of us checked it out on Tuesday night after a very, very long day of working and conferencing and trying not to fall asleep. The drinks were insanely strong. I ordered their version of a strawberry daquiri (which I realize sounds pretty lame after admitting I’d tried a Rob Roy) and it was like taking a swig out of a bottle of Bacardi. Everything was fabulously southern. There was a strong taxidermy presence,which did slightly repulse me and the food was more expensive than it should have been, but it all was worth it. I don’t think we stopped laughing for the entire meal. We followed it up with the best peach cobbler ever.

Anyway, I’m back and still a bit exhausted and looking forward to vegging this weekend. I’m playing Bunco tonight with my DG alumnae friends and Lola and I have a pug event to attend tomorrow and then I forsee lots of naps. Lots and lots of naps.

Friday Edition – Random Things in my Cubicle

Yes, this is a singing hampster. And yes, she sings “She Works Hard for the Money.” And yes, I play it every Friday afternoon when all of us are dreaming about our weekend plans. I like that she has crazy shoes sticking out. And a power suit. And pearls.

My Birthday in HOTLANTA!

Let me introduce you to Crazy Train Man (note the floral print hammer pants, white socks and black shoes). I had the pleasure of sitting across from him on the train from the airport to my hotel (which, by the way, is amazing, but more on that later). As soon as I saw him, I knew that he needed to be commemorated on this here blog thing.

Anyway, I’m on the train and THIS walked in.

And then he took out a brush and proceeded to brush his mullett. I almost died from holding in my giggles. Then he pulled out a cell phone circa 1996 and called someone and loudly asked if they’d gotten their test results back (this was later revealed to be diabetes testing, much less lurid than what I’d been entertaining). And then he giggled about how he wasn’t going to get into specifics because he was on the train, but remember when friend on the other end of the line got that thing stuck once? And then loud and hysterical laughing.

Hopefully my Blackberry photo does him justice. He truly was the highlight of my travels.

Ok, the hotel – I’m sharing a three bedroom suite with two other co-workers on the 45th floor. We have concierge lounge access – free water, soda, snacks, etc. all day long. Plus, our suite is sooo fancy. I’ll take pics tomorrow (too sleepy tonight).

I went to dinner with a large group of co-workers. One of my absolute favorites decided that he was going to tell the waiter that it was my birthday. I had ice cream and blew out a candle and got to wear a glow necklace. It was amazing. And everyone kept wishing me a happy birthday, to which I alternated between saying “Thanks” and telling the truth.

Anyway, I thought that Crazy Train Man might start your Tuesday on a delightfully nutty note.

Random Things in my Cubicle

And now, I’d like to unveil a surely thrilling new collection of posts titled “Random Things in my Cubicle.”

This week’s submission – my Hello Kitty boom box. Yes, boom box.

I know you’re jealous that you don’t have one of these babies on YOUR desk…

My boss tells me that my cube is cluttered. So obviously this new little feature here at ACGIK can continue for quite awhile.

As the Beatles Said, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, LIfe Goes On…"

First of all, thanks y’all for your advice. Much appreciated.

Second, I don’t think it’s going to work out with the guy. Sinking feeling there. But… oh well. It wasn’t far enough along for there to be hurt feelings. The ex-friend sent another email, clearly feeling like she needed to have the last word. I will not dignify it with a response. This time, she was aiming below the belt and I’m not going to participate in that kind of thing. And for those of you who remember from the first incarnation of ACGIK, her name is Carly and she used to be my best friend. C’est la vie, right?

Third, my mom is coming this weekend!!!! I can’t wait! It’s the second year in a row that she’s come to Kansas for Mother’s Day. It’s entirely coincidental, but fabulous nonetheless. I’m taking her out for pedicures tomorrow morning and making her a faaaaancy dinner on Sunday night. And there will definitely be some time spent at TJ Maxx. Basically – a fantastic weekend of mother/daughter bonding.

Fourth, I’ll be in Atlanta all next week for a conference. I’m kinda looking forward to getting away. And not standing outside in the rain praying that Lola will hurry up and pee already (she’ll be boarded for the week). And everyone from my department will be there, including those that work across the globe. It’s just fun. Long days, but still fun. I’m giving a presentation on a project that I’ve been managing. I present an hour or so after lunch, so I’m trying to make it at least mildly entertaining. I made my co-worker and pal, Linda, participate in a photoshoot (she was the photographer) so I could at least inject a lil’ pizazz into the thing.

Here’s a sneak peak:

That’s me – up to my neck in paperwork. Sadly, I am entirely too amused by this. Hopefully everyone else will be too. There are a few others to follow, but this is my personal favorite.

Ok, guys. I’m signing off. We’ll dish later.

Ugh.

Well, the drama that has been going on seems to be reaching a climax.

I received an email from the aforementioned friend and it became abundantly clear that the friendship could not be saved. So I wrote back with what I think (and hope) was an honest, well thought out reply. I didn’t want to be hurtful – just truthful.

I don’t expect that the friend will reply. And regarding the guy… Well, if something happens there, something happens. And if not, well, then it doesn’t. And if the issue with the friend gets in the way, well, then it gets in the way.

So that is where I’m at. Hopefully my thoughts can be mine again and no longer hijacked by this situation. And my dreams too. Because those have been super bizarre lately.

Ok, deep breaths. Weight has been lifted. Time to get on with life and start writing posts that aren’t so depressing.

Holy Naked Christopher Meloni

I am just catching up on last night’s Tivo’d episode of Law & Order SVU and Christopher Meloni (the dashing Detective Elliot Stabler) is naked. Well, as naked as you can be on prime time TV. I saw the side of a butt. And abs. Lots of abs.

I think I’m going to pass out now.