ALOHA!

I’m getting ready to go to a luau. Because I’m slightly overachieving, I will be wearing a retro, tropical print dress, big wooden earrings, and I’ll be bringing the following accessories:

A pineapple upside-down cake. My very first. It looks so cute!

And this coconut cup, found on clearance at Target. Plus a cheesy lei.

LOVE IT!

Home Sick

I’m home sick today. Wah. The rainy weather has done a real number on my sinuses.

She Won!

Lola totally beat out the competition and won the title of wackiest dog at work. I was especially proud of this because some girls in accounting were campaigning especially hard for their ugly and totally not wacky dog AND they made fun of Lola. Whores. But let me just say that accounting people can’t out campaign the marketing people. Life just doesn’t work that way. So my cute lil’ Bubba won a $25 gift card to PetsMart which I will use to replenish the forty treats that it took to bribe her into wearing this getup and actually looking at the camera.

Um, Well, If The Stars Say So…

According to my horoscope on my iGoogle homepage, things should be looking up. I especially like the part about heavy metals to spiritual gold. That’s some funny sh*t.

The heaviness is lifted off your shoulders and your heart. Difficult circumstances that have been weighing on you for too long are now transforming from heavy metals into spiritual gold. The philosopher’s stone may be working magic for you now, but you cannot take anything for granted. Temper your excitement with humility and gratitude.

Eek! I’ve been tagged! 8 Random Things About Me

So I guess I’m it. Or if this was a game of duck, duck, goose, I’d be the goose. EMAWKC totally just tagged me. I now have to tell y’all eight random things about me, which you should pretty much be used to right about now. Jenelle tells me that this blog is basically a list of the random crap running through my brain anyway…

So let’s get to it:

1. I once worked the door at a fashion show in Venice. California, not Italy. I was really bad at it because I had no idea who was “somebody” and who was “nobody.” Except for one guy from General Hospital and another guy from Passions. They were somebody enough for me.
2. I once at a spoonful of nasty things for five dollars on a school field trip.
3. I own a gravy boat, which has never been used. I just like knowing that I have one should the occasion rise.
4. I was sophomore class vice-president. Sort of by default. I ran unopposed. Which either means that I either intimidated the heck out of the competition or no one else wanted the crappy job.
5. I can beat Super Mario Brothers on the first try.
6. I like the smell of bleach.
7. I came in second on a game show on the PAX network. Which I don’t think even exists anymore.
8. I did Jazzercise last night. How amazingly 80’s is that? I only wished I’d been wearing a leotard and a sweat band.

So there you have it. And because I now get to be the tagger, Erin, The D, Rachael, Sizzle Pizzle and Heidi… you’re it.

(Sidenote: for those of you that I owe interview questions, expect them in your respective inboxes this weekend)

Hula Lola

We’re having a funniest pet contest at work. It’s company-wide and our company is, like, ginormous. But I have a strong feeling that I may have taken the winning pic:

Ode to Pleasanton

Craig Ferguson gives the world’s biggest shout out to my hometown, Pleasanton, CA. All P-towners (and you know who you are, you “townies”) must watch. It’s amazing.

Slacker

I really need to do the dishes:

And fold the laundry that seems to have found a permanent home on my guest bed:

Should You Care

My interview with Jenn is up and posted. You can check it out HERE.

Gratutitous Lola Pic

Death of the Diet

This is kind of how it went down:

Things I Should Have Done Today

1. Cleaned my apartment
2. Took the dog for a long walk
3. Loaded the dishwasher
4. Shredded old bills
5. Folded laundry
6. Worked out

Things I did instead:

1. Got a manicure with Jenelle
2. Had a long lunch at Chili’s (totally off Adkins, btw… The Philly cheesesteaks did me in. Instead I’m trying that eat healthy and work out idea…)
3. Perused the mall
4. Watched The Closer and Entourage off my overflowing TiVo
5. Took a long nap
6. Went tanning

Uh…

I just realized that one of my “labels” is “Midly drunk and blogging.” It should be “MILDLY drunk and blogging.” Which makes me think that maybe drinking and blogging do not go hand in hand as I had previously thought.

Um, Yeah. Let’s Hang Out

Kansas City Blog Friends,

I am planning a trip to your fine city.

Anyone up for, like, an in-person meeting?

You all let me know what you think about that… Let it marinate a bit…

Your Blog Friend,

Shea

ACGIK – The Interview (AKA The Longest Post Ever)

So not long ago, The D interviewed Brad after being interviewed himself on his blog. As part of the deal, the chain of blogger interviews had to continue and I volunteered to be the next interviewee. And now (drum roll please)…. Brad’s interview of ACGIK:

1) Most anyone who reads your blog knows why you moved to Kansas (for your boyfriend at the time). Since that relationship has since ended, what is keeping you in Kansas? It’s obvious that you miss California so what’s holding you back from returning there?

Oooh. That’s a good one. Actually, it’s good timing to ask that because I just got back to Wichita from a hectic week in the Northeast and anytime I visit a big city (such as Philly), I start to ponder why exactly I’m still in Kansas. Over the past two years and 9 months (eek!), there have been plenty of times where I’ve called my family in CA and said, “Get the U-Haul ready, I’m coming home.” But every time, something has kept me here. And I’ve always believed, since the road trip I took to move here, that if it didn’t work out with The Ex, I was coming to Wichita for a reason, even if I didn’t realize what that reason was for quite some time. I’m still not sure I know. But when I decided to move, everything fell into place so seamlessly that I knew this was the right thing to do. At the moment, I have a really good job with a really good company and my future there looks really, really bright. I would be foolish to throw away that opportunity. I have made some really, really great friends here and I can’t imagine leaving them right now. I’ve become involved with my sorority alumni group, which I never thought I would do, but am so glad I did. The Wichita Eagle has interviewed me on four different occasions, which is really cool. I find that in Wichita, it’s really easy to be a big fish in a small pond and I kinda like that. Um, and can we talk about the cost of living for a moment? Yeah, my apartment now is like three or four of my LA apartments for significantly less money. And as long as I keep making a decent living so I can visit California when I want and as long as I keep traveling for work so I can enjoy big city life without actually having to deal with its hassles on a daily basis, it’s kind of nice to come back home where the pace is a little slower, the air quality is good and there is no such thing as traffic. Wichita has somehow become my home and I never expected to like it the way I have. Of course, you’ve caught me at a bit of an optimistic moment… Oh my gosh, I need to maybe be more concise with my other answers or this is going to be the longest blog post ever.

2) You definitely aren’t shy about writing sharing details about your love life on your blog. You’ve even stated before that even your friends joke around that no one should date you because it’ll end up on the internet. Coming from someone who makes a point to not do so, why you do it? Has it ever been an issue in any of your previous relationships?

Why do I do it? Good question. Wow, Brad, way to go all Barbara Walters on me. I guess it’s kind of “my thing.” Some girls talk to their girlfriends about dating. I put it out there on the Internet for mass consumption. Is it the smartest thing to do? No. But I can’t imagine NOT talking about it. I mean, single people have it rough. Dating is really hard after, like, eleventh grade. And I think that if someone reads what I have to say about guys or dating or my mistakes or my successes and relates to it, then it’s worth putting it out there. We single people have to stick together. I also think that dating makes some of the funniest writing material ever. So maybe I’m cheapening my relationships by publishing them for their humor, but if you can’t laugh about them in hindsight, why even bother dating? It has rather amazingly not been an issue in any of my relationships. When I first start to date someone, I am really upfront about it – “Look, I have this blog thing and I pretty much talk about everything on there…” But once I am serious about someone, I tend to keep it more private. Obviously, it’s been awhile since I was serious about someone…

3) I can tell you are a pretty big reality television junkie. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you even have another website devoted primarily to gossip pertaining to the genre. I am someone who doesn’t watch reality t.v. Assume the role of a salesperson and “sell” me on why it is so great to watch. Try to woo me.

I don’t know that I would necessarily consider myself a big reality TV junkie. Ok, that’s a lie. I definitely have my “guilty pleasure” reality shows – MTV shows like Laguna Beach, The Real World, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, The Hills (I totally interviewed Heidi & Spencer over at MTV Reality World) and shows on Bravo – Project Runway, Top Chef, The Real Housewives of Orange County… I still watch Survivor even. But you might be surprised to learn that my favorite shows are, in fact, serial dramas and “dramedys”: Veronica Mars, Sex and the City, The Sopranos, Entourage, The Closer (back for the summer!), Rescue Me (also back for the summer and just fantastically well-written), Weeds, Grey’s Anatomy, Lost and… Oh wow. I am just realizing how much TV I actually watch. Thank God for TiVo. So why should you watch reality TV? It’s all about the drama. No reality show is worth watching if you can’t watch real people, not characters (though they are cast and edited to become characters) duke it out on national TV, whether it’s in a cooking competition or fighting with a roommate or kicking some “Bad Guy” ass on a RW/RR Challenge. It’s trashy and deliciously so. Some of the shows are a bit more highbrow than, say, Being Bobby Brown. And this is where I would suggest you take your first reality show nibble. Try watching an episode of The Amazing Race. It’s exciting and educational and dramatic and fun. If that doesn’t get you hooked, you can just continue on, satisfied that you haven’t wasted precious hours of your life like I apparently have.

4) Please list your likes/dislikes of both Midwestern living as well as life in California. I’m sure there are some obvious ones (i.e. the weather), but I’d be curious to know that your thoughts are of each place.

California Likes: My family. The Pacific. Mountains. Great shopping. Diversity. Culture. Real Mexican food. Sushi. SoCal weather. Tahoe. Malibu. PCH. South Beverly Drive. In N Out Burger. Midtown Sacramento. Trader Joe’s. Whole Foods. Buying wine at the grocery store. Nordstrom. Nordstrom Rack. Driving down the 10 and seeing the Hollywood sign. Montana Ave. in Santa Monica. Santa Cruz, CA (everything about it, especially my dad). Frozen yogurt on a Friday night in Rocklin with my sisters. Safeway (I have an odd adoration for Safeway grocery stores). The Grove/Farmer’s Market in LA. Miracle Mile apartments. Hancock Park homes. The drive from Sacramento to Santa Cruz. The Oakland A’s. Napa. Crossing the Bay Bridge (my heart stops for a moment every time). Vacationing all over the state and feeling like you’re in an entirely different place.

Kansas Likes: My friends. My job. Cost of living. Thunderstorms. BBQ. Bison burgers. NO TRAFFIC. Friendly people. Tiny airport (this is a like and a dislike). Cute, cornfed Midwestern boys. $3 Beers. $2 Beers. $1 Beers. Gas prices. Open fields. Super Target. Midwestern cities (KC, St. Louis, Chicago…). My apartment. The Crush. Delta Gamma Alumnae. The Northeast Side. Bella Luna Cafe. Old Town. Mort’s. The Anchor. Dancing at Margaritas with all of the single over-40 crowd. Seeing the Keeper of the Plains at night. Brunch at the Wichita Art Museum. SNOW! College Hill. Warm summer nights. 15 minutes to anywhere in town. The Flint Hills. Feeling calm.

California Dislikes: Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Cost of living ($950 for 325 sq. feet in the Miracle Mile district of LA…). $10 shots of tequila (right Fred?). Smarmy LA guys. Hollywood in general. Congestion. No such thing as open spaces unless you’re on I-5 and who wants to be on I-5 in the middle of nowhere anyway? The Valley (except for Ventura Boulevard). SMOG. Hot summers. Hot winters. The Plastic Lifestyle. Incessant competition. 16 year old kids with BMWs. Every agent who works at William Morris and walks down South Beverly during lunch. Expensive everything. Gas prices. The Inland Empire. LAX. The ten million people inside Trader Joe’s at any given moment.

Kansas Dislikes: No family. No decent shoe stores in the greater Wichita area. No family. Significant lack of mountains and/or ocean. Expensive airfare. Humidity. General lack of culture or diversity. Sushi? Spangles commercials. Cheap beer means gross drunk guys (and girls) in Old Town. Lack of outdoor activity. No one walks anywhere. Giant parking lots and big box stores. Men wear overalls. Everyone wears those damn Crocs. No major sporting events in Wichita. The drive to Kansas City. 11,000 more single women than men in Wichita. The likelihood of running into an ex is significantly greater. Chicken fried everything.

5) If you could have dinner with one living celebrity of each sex who would it be and why? On the flip side, if you could punch one celebrity of each sex in the face who would it be and why?

I’d have dinner with Lisa Loeb because I adore her, her love of pink and Hello Kitty and her music. Also, I’d have dinner with Justin Timberlake because he’s dreamy. Who would I punch? Britney Spears. Maybe it would knock some sense in her. And Tom Cruise, so I could distract him and give Katie Holmes the chance to run far, far away.

So there you have it. My interview and the longest post ever. Want to be the next interview victim? Send me an email – shea@b5media.com.