Archive for August, 2007

Blogging for Evil

Do you ever want to be an evil-doer with your blogging?

Like say someone did something really rotten and you want to publicly call them out.  Because, also, let’s say that they aren’t really google-able and should you post about them being a lying sack of sh*t, you would then be the number one google result for them (in theory).  And everyone would know just how awful they are and they would lose all of their friends and be shunned at work.  Right? And you would sit back and cackle an evil laugh and rub your hands together with glee.

Or is that just terribly immature and pathetic?

I’m kind of thinking that it is… but it would also be kind of fun.

(see post below for explanation of over-dramatic behavior) 

Oh Kermie!

Thanks to emawkc’s Friday Blogthing, I present to you my personality disorder:


You May Be a Bit Histrionic…


Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention.
And you’ll do anything it takes to get noticed.
You love to be seductive, even when it’s inappropriate.
If you’re ignored, you’re easily hurt … and act out even more!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

The Office Returns!

We’ve Moved.

Obviously.  Or you wouldn’t be here.

We’re using WordPress now, which we are pretty familiar with thanks to MTV Reality World.  

We’re unfortunately not crazy about the theme.  We’re working on it.  Grr.

Why exactly I keep saying “we,” when there is clearly just a me is a bit baffling, but I’m tired, so whatevs.

P.S. If you wouldn’t mind updating your blogrolls, you’d pretty much be my favorite people ever.

Love It

Feel like a trip back to 1993? Go check out this post on Go Fug Yourself. Hilarity ensues.

It brings back nostalgia for my youth just like this one (Jessica was always my favorite twin) and, well, this one, largely for its reference to David Silver singing “You’re so precious to me…”

Of course, I wasn’t really allowed to read Sweet Valley High books cause they were kinda raunchy for a 13 year old (but I managed to read them anyway) and I had to sneak episodes of 90210 at friends’ houses, but made up for it the summer after my senior year when I watched EVERY SINGLE EPISODE because they lived on forever thanks to syndication – twice a day on TBS!

My Secret Celebrity Crush #2

I totally have a dirty celebrity crush on Zac Efron. Dirty because I could have been his baby-sitter and that makes me feel kinda pedophile-ish.

But he’s sooo dreamy!!!

Things I Don’t Get #426

Why Jessica and Eric didn’t totally backdoor Danielle on Big Brother 8.

Hello, perfect opportunity!! Dick and Danielle are clearly NOT going to afford Jess and Eric the same courtesy if one of them wins HOH, which is totally possible next week.

Another thing I don’t get – how exactly I became so hooked on this damn show.

It’s a Real Schmoozefest Around Here

I’ve been nominated for (and thus apparently the winner of) a blogger schmooze award by Doc, who claims I can drink him and The D under the table. His claims are correct. Maybe that should be the next blogger meet-up idea – see who can out-drink me. Hmmm…

Nonetheless, I now have the privilige of nominating some other schmoozers. 5 of them, in fact.

So here come the nominations. Envelopes please.
Ahem.

I hereby nominate (or award): The Awesomeness of John, Shaynanagins, Midwest Valley Girl, Chimpotle, and 3 o’clock am. All of these are worth checking out (if you haven’t already, of course). You each have received 5 nominations/awards of your own to hand out. USE THEM WISELY!

All right. Enough of the blog love.

Things I Don’t Get # 401

People who don’t observe a novel concept known as the courtesy flush.

LA Story – Sundance

It’s been awhile since I told an LA story. A long while. So… here we go. It’s a long one. Get comfortable.

One of the biggest perks to my job in the 9021…2 was that I got to take an all-expenses paid trip to the Sundance Film Festival. It was pretty much the most last minute thing ever. I ended up driving up to Park City, Utah from LA in a rented Chevy Trailblazer with 2 tons of brochures stacked up in the back, Dixie Chicks playing on the radio and a friend in the passenger seat along for the ride.

The main purpose of the company’s trip was to sponsor a big party along with Seven jeans and CAA (one of the big talent agencies). I was absolutely ecstatic about this. As an avid reader of fine publications such as Us Weekly and In Touch, I knew that I would see more celebrities at one time in one place than I had for the previous 6 months in LA.

I was right.

Mostly my trip consisted of chauffeuring my boss, my steadily drunken co-worker and other assorted friends and acquaintances all over the place. To the Seven jeans house and back. To the Motorola lodge and back… You get the idea. But there were perks to that too.

Like just driving around and spotting Ashton Kutcher and Rob Thomas and Lance Bass (for some reason, I had regular Lance Bass sightings). And then there was the Seven jeans house where I was offered free jeans (for some absolutely insane reason I turned this down) and literally – LITERALLY – bumped into Paris Hilton and Nick Carter (remember them together?). Then I saw Christina Applegate sipping hot chocolate on the other side of the room and Bo from Days of Our Lives trying on jeans in a makeshift dressing room. Hi-larious!!

My friend and I just sort of stood there feeling awkward and uncool and non-celebrity-ish.

That night was the big party. And after some drama (we couldn’t get into our own party – sad, I know), we were finally rubbing elbows with the big guns. Only there really weren’t any big guns. Just some C and D-listers like Kevin Richardson, formerly of The Backstreet Boys, and Jeremy Sisto. Not that I’m knocking C and D-list. I am Z-list.

My boss and his fiance had taken off because of the aforementioned drama, leaving me with armfuls of brochures and random hats to hand out to the partygoers. I was also, at this point, a bit drunk. Let me tell you, it made it a helluva lot easier to walk up to complete strangers and ask them if they had already reserved their yacht for Cannes and, if not, would they like a brochure?

And then I asked the question to a really tall, attractive middle-eastern man. And he actually wanted one. And he apparently knew my boss. And the next thing you know, his manservant (I kid you not) was holding my purse and brochures while Sam Nazarian – the tall, attractive middle-eastern man, was pouring me a drink from his table. Yeah, table service. This is about the time that I realized that this guy was kinda important. We posed for pictures for Wire Image (they never posted them – jerks) and he continued to woo me. Yup – woo. It culminated with his manservant getting my phone number and Sam informing me that they wanted me to come back to his hotel for an after party. They actually did call too – they were in a limo outside and did I want to join them?

I had absolutely no idea who this man was, other than he had cash and a manservant and liked to woo. But I politely declined. I’m not that kind of girl. So instead I went back to the house where we were staying and party all night and make a Lean Cuisine for the guy who played Luke on The OC.

When I got back to LA, I googled Sam and found out that he’s kind of a mogul in LA – hotelier, restaurateur, film financier, etc. Do the clubs Hyde and Area sound familiar? How about the Viceroy hotel? Yeah. That’s Sam.

And then, last night on Entourage, there he was, larger than life on my TV. Sam being Sam.

So whenever I rattle off one of these random, bizarre LA stories, I kinda don’t believe it ever happened. It feels much more like the crazy dream I had last night than the actual events that took place in my life. But as my pal Aaron reminded me, here I am in Wichita receiving gifts from MTV Canada and interviewing Heidi and Spencer, so I guess you can take the girl out of LA, but you can’t take the LA out of the girl.

The End.

SWAG!

Somehow, someone at MTV Canada knew that I was a compadre.

And they sent me a bunch of swag!!! YAY!!! I love free things!

In case you were curious, my care package from MTV includes: Season 2 of The Hills on DVD, MTV stickers, MTV temporary tattoos (hilarious), a keychain, a lei, and three “lip butters.”

Things I Don’t Get # 386

Grumpy people.

I really don’t get grumpy people. Look – we all have moments when our panties get in a bunch, but overall, none of us (and by us, I mean me and those of you whom fall into the same demographic as moi) have it so rough that we have any reason to be consistently irritated and downright grumpy.

We have roofs over our heads. Clean drinking water. Obscene luxuries like built-in Bluetooth in our cars. We have indoor plumbing and the means to watch Big Brother After Dark on Showtime Too. We have laptops and iPods and leftover Pizza Hut in the fridge. Decent bottles of Sauvingon Blanc and Viognier in our wine racks. We spend $4 on coffee. COFFEE! Don’t get me wrong – it’s not all champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Cars break down. Hard drives crash. People get fired. Friendships end. Illness occurs. But in the great big scheme of life, that stuff is just that – life. The little nuggets of sh*t amongst the plethora of good. Yeah, that’s right – the plethora of GOOD.

And yet some of us are still grumpy… All. The. Time.

Just, like, stay inside until you can come out and play nicely.

I mean it.

I’ll Sing for Free


My mom is convinced that I need to be on The Singing Bee.

I’d do it just to hang out with Joey Fatone, but that’s just me.

Plus, you know, I have previous game show experience. And a six-CD Time/Life collection of classic rock favorites as my consolation prize.

I actually called the hotline for The Singing Bee casting department tonight just to satisfy her and to see what happens. I’m a good game show contestant. I’m energetic. I laugh at myself. And you can bet that I will belt it out and sing like I’ve never sung before. Whether I know the lyrics or not.

I mean, I’m the girl who thought “Papa Don’t Preach” was “Bubblegum Street” until early adulthood.

Holy Childhood

Many a weekend in my youth was spent in front of the TV at my dad’s house watching American Gladiators and Star Search. And since leggings have already made their way back, why the hell wouldn’t effing American Gladiators? Yeah, that’s right. American Gladiators is back and you could even try out to be one of them. So if you happen to be excellent at jousting or obstacle courses or just being one crazy motherf***er, go for it. I’ll root for you. Oh you’d better believe I will be all over that sh*t just like I was when I was nine.

Blame Canada

So emawkc posted this country quiz thing last Friday. I’m a little behind the times due to my weekend in KC and odd ailments, so I finally took the damn thing today.

And I’m Canada. CANADA! Freakin’ Canada. I’m not even a South Park fan and I know that there’s an entire song about (aboot?) blaming Canada!

You’re Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they’re stupid because you’ve
got a much better life than they do. In fact, they’re probably just jealous. You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and
others. If it weren’t for your weird affection for ice hockey, you’d be
the perfect person.


Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

So the real question is… What country are you?

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