*Proudly oversharing since 2004
Of course this would happen right after I make the decision to move back. First California nearly burns down. And then it gets a little closer to falling into the ocean.
Get my lemon drop ready, Big Sis. We may be ducking and covering under the table for awhile.
Jill. She’s the kind of BFF that knows you have approximately six dollars left in your checking account, thus treats you to an iced coffee and gelato, brainstorms with you about becoming private dicks (need: trenchcoats, listening devices, frosted glass window that says J & S Investigations, etc.), treats you to an episode of How I Met Your Mother and then sends you home with a four pack of Charmin.
THAT, dear readers, is friendship.
To commemorate my departure from Kansas to the California Promise Land, I’m counting down up the Top 100 Things I Love About California and the Top 100 Things I Love About Kansas. I’ll give you a few each day. I know. You’re so friggin’ excited that you don’t even know how to contain it.
My dad is, well, kinda slow to catch on to the latest technological trends.
For the past 10 years, his various computers have essentially existed only as very expensive games of solitaire.
Recently, he has taken up email forwarding. Remember when people sent forwards ALL THE EFFING TIME?
That’s my dad. Stuck in 1998.
He also just learned to text message.
He’s rad.
So maybe you’re curious as to what my new gig is all about. Or maybe you’re not. Which means that you are waaaaay less nosy than I am.
For those of you who are curious, check out www.rocketlifeblog.com. Even better, check it out often. And comment. And make stuff. And send me screenshots of what you make.
Capisce?
Does anyone have a PC that they would like to sell and/or donate to ACGIK?
I am not so keen on the idea of even owning one of those beasts, but it turns out that I need one for business purposes…
If you do, send me an email at shea@californiagirlinkansas.com.
Grazi.
I feel that it’s my civic duty to help Chimpotle start a Friday Feast revolution. So here we go:
Appetizer
Name a great website that you would recommend to others.
Hmmm… I am gonna go with The Putdown. Andy’s most recent post about the pumpkin contest was HILARIOUS. Sometimes the PD is on the NSFW side and sometimes there’s a lotta sports stuff that I just kinda skim, but Andy pulls out some classic posts that I greatly admire.
Soup
On a scale from 1-10, how often do you dream at night.
10. Always. I have nights full of dreams. Weird, random dreams. I always wake up slightly disoriented because of it.
Salad
Did you have a pet as a child? If so, what kind and what was its name?
OMG. Where to start!? Here we go… Summer- golden retriever, Curly – cat, Miranda – cat, Sophie – mutt, and Licorice & Marshmallow – rats (ugh). Plus my youngest sister was always adopting new pets. I have no idea how many hampsters and rabbits and whatnot we had in our home at any given moment.
Main Course
If you had the chance to star in a commercial, what would you choose to advertise?
Shoes… that I could keep? Or Apple or Target or BlackBerry or Aveda.
Dessert
What is your favorite kind of hard candy?
I don’t much care for hard candy. I’d have to say Wintogreen Lifesavers. Those are pretty tasty.
Ok, now it’s your turn!!!
Disclaimer: Mom, skip this post.
So… I went to a male revue last night for my friend Kelli’s birthday. I have to admit that I was a little reluctant to go. I mean, I like a man for his sense of humor, ability to grill just about anything and make it taste good and his keen carpentry skills. Not for dancing around in a g-string with his little willy flopping about.
When I think “male revue,” I think Chippendales. Which in turn reminds me of working for BJC in Sacramento where one of our manufacturing reps used to be a Chippendales dancer and I couldn’t really look him in the eye without smirking and thinking of him wearing little other than a bowtie and some cuffs.
First off, the club hosting the male revue has the most ridiculous special ever. Get in free before 8:30 PLUS they give you $5. WTF. I still can’t get over this. Especially since they had domestic bottles on special for $1. I literally walked away with a buck still in my pocket.
So we waited with great anticipation for the show to get started and I was laughing my dorky I’m-still-in-fifth-grade-and-someone-just-said-“do-it” laugh. I was nervous. I didn’t want weird man junk up in my business. I was afraid that a stray ball might come at me.
What followed was an hour of the goofiest crap I’d ever seen. There were only three guys. Three kind of little, icky looking guys. I don’t know if I can honestly express to you how unbelievably hilarious the whole thing was. They stripped to songs like “Up Where We Belong” and the Top Gun theme song. There was a cowboy number where the “cowboy” lit his wee-wee on fire. I. Kid. You. Not. Let me repeat. The cowboy lit his wee-wee on fire. He also nearly burned the place down after setting fire to the stage. The funniest part was that these guys took it so seriously. And I did end up having unwanted man junk rubbing up on my leg even while turning away saying “Um, no thank you. No thank you. Not interested.” I felt like I was trying to get rid of a mostly naked telemarketer.
Cost of admission… free
Two bottles of Miller Light… on the house
Watching a man light his peter on fire… priceless.
Ugh. I just got a Mediaweek breaking news bulletin:
Microsoft has notched a major victory over its heated rival Google, as the
software giant has won the race to invest in the red-hot social networking
platform Facebook.com. The company announced late Wednesday that it would
take a $240 million equity stake in Facebook during the company‚s new round
of financing, which is being valued at $15 billion–a stunning figure for a
business that did not exist prior to 2004. As part of that deal, Microsoft
officials said they will also expand their existing ad sales relationship
with Facebook.
This irritates me to no end. Microsoft and Wal-Mart are like the same evil existence in my eyes.
That 22 year old Facebook kid is one rich mo fo now, that’s for sure. Or, uh, fo sho.
So I was talking to my mom and used the word “rad,” which, by the way, I am convinced is coming back full force.
“Rad?!” She exclaimed. “Rad?! There’s one from the archives.”
To which I replied very matter of factly, “I’m bringing it back, Mom.”
Out of nowhere, she said, “What about ‘boss’? Are you bringing that back too?”
I nearly died laughing. Only you, mom. Only you.
It’s not every day that you literally almost run into the ninth richest man in the United States in the cafeteria and come thisclose to dumping your tray of chicken pot pie all over him.
Had I not already given my two weeks, it might have been an act of career suicide.
Plus, my shirt was probably a dress code violation today. My lady lumps were showing a bit.
So I was the beer cart girl for a golf tournament this weekend. I use the term “golf tournament” loosely because it was unlike any golf tournament that I have ever attended (and for your information, that would be two).
The general idea seemed to be throw a bunch of rednecks onto a golf course and give them unlimited Bud Light or Coors Light (often pronounced “Cers” by the less refined of the bunch) and throw ideas like a dress code out the window.
There were two guys playing golf in jeans. IN JEANS! With, like, high tops (ok, maybe not high tops but I thought that would make it funnier) and a t-shirt.
You can argue that golf is kind of a snobby sport. And you’re probably right. Which is fine with me because it makes no apologies for that. Having dated a serious golfer (who won one of those aforementioned tournaments), I know that there are rules and there is etiquette. My guess is that throwing your ball at the green is probably frowned upon by traditional golfing standards. Yes, that happened today.
I realize that even in refined games of golf (matches of golf?), f-bombs are tossed around and clubs chucked angrily at the fairway. But this took it all to an entirely new level.
Plus it was only a nine hole course and after my fourth lap, I started to feel like I was playing Mario Cart in real life.
But I did help bring in $122 in tips that will go toward a good cause and had fun with two fellow DGs. Well worth every wind-burned, low-brow moment. Woot!
I put in my two weeks notice yesterday. Yep, I took a giant leap of faith and made like Nike and just did it.
I was basically feeling like I was being pulled in twenty-seven different directions, what with my MTV thing, my boring daytime job thing (which I can finally talk about in slightly less cryptic terms in fourteen days or so) and my new gig which I had already started on a part-time basis. Yeah, that’s three jobs. Yeah, that’s a lot. Plus I like to do other non-work-like stuff. Like have friends and go out and shop at Target and get pedicures and watch Gossip Girl and The Hills. And sleep. I haven’t done that much lately.
So I am taking a risk, I guess. I’m now an independent contractor which brings upon a mix of fear and excitement and overall joy for being able to work in my PJs. My new job is full of seriously super fun projects and I want to be able to devote as much of my attention and creativity as possible. I really believe that I could have done a good job at it working part time until I move back, but I’m not really into just doing a good job. I want to do a great job. This allows me the time and flexibility to do just that. And, in case you were wondering, I’ll be doing it from the ‘Ta until late December and then it’s arrivederci baby. And by baby, I mean Kansas.
The thing about giving two weeks, aside from its general awkwardness mixed with sadness and euphoria, is that I will greatly miss seeing some pretty significant people in my life on a daily basis. I know that my boss’ life at work will be a little less dramatic and probably a little less entertaining. He and the intern have been dubbed “the two most important men in my life.” And sadly, it’s sorta true. And then there’s Linda B. who is my best friend in a different age bracket. She made work so much more fun. And of course, Jenelle, with whom I discovered the $2.73 half wrap combo in the cafeteria (seriously the same amount of food as the whole wrap combo for half the price and, yo, I’m all about value).
The best part about it all, since I’m kind of an attention whore, is that the next two weeks will be filled with goodbyes and we’ll miss yous and hopefully a free lunch or two. And then I’ll give corporate life the finger and do something that I absolutely love. Like you know how people always say that they love their job so much that it doesn’t feel like work. Yeah, I am starting to understand that feeling. And that’s just fabulous, if I do say so myself.
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