Jenelle and I have secretly (ok, not so secretly really) had the dream of being photographed for the social pages of this ridiculous local publication called Splurge!  Yeah, it’s called Splurge!  With an exclamation point and everything.  Nonetheless, the fine magazine has since gone belly up and our dreams subsequently shattered.  But we still hope to grace the social pages somewhere.

So it should come as no surprise that we aspiring socialites attended an American Cancer Society benefit earlier this year (complete with silent auction, awful Brighton and Kathy Van Zeland – aka “that Kathy bitch” as I once mistakenly called her in a serious discussion with Jill about quality handbags – purses all over the room and some of the biggest hair in Wichita).  The best part of that event was that Jenelle won a makeover package at a local salon.  And the margaritas out of a giant cooler.  And did I mention that we talked shop with Kayne Gillespie of Project Runway fame?  Yeah, we know how to do it up here in the ‘Ta.

Then this week I happened upon two free tickets to the preview party for the Junior League of Wichita’s Holiday Galleria.  Which, obviously, is like the cream of the crop of Wichita Socialites.  So it should come as no surprise that Jenelle and I were there with bells on.  And have I ever been one to turn down free champagne and hors d’ouvers?  Absolutely never.

The highlight of the evening was Jenelle, who was full of comedic delight.  As I was browsing a silent auction table a little longer than she would have liked, she said, “Hurry up, bitch.”  I looked at her in shock.  “We’re Paris and Nicole tonight, remember?” she reminded me.  I just about died laughing.  There was also the woman who sat at a table with us and didn’t waste time to lean over and mention with great sincerity that her husband was on the city council.  And then there was the chair massage that I took full advantage of, no matter how unladylike it looks to be straddling a weird massage chair when trying to win your way into the hearts of Wichita’s elite.  And then there were the coupons – oh the coupons! – because no matter how much of a socialite you are, you can always use 20% off at the local beauty boutique.


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